PremE
Early morning wood led to 30 minutes of dry handed manipulation. Approached PONR twice, stopped stroking and tried Reverse Kegel (RK). Not sure if that or the stopping helped but I did over 30 minutes and no ejaculation.
Sex
She initiated a bit of foreplay then left, then returned and offered sex. It was charming and loving, for us, at 50, there is no "hot and heavy" foreplay, just a "let's get 'er done" attitude. I lasted around 30 seconds after thrusting began, on my bed in missionary position. I tried to pay attention to whether I was involuntary kegeling or if my pelvic floor was clenched, but it's like I can't feel anything but the pleasure. There is an invisible wall through which I can't feel a thing that I feel when I'm on my own. I ineptly tried to RK breathe, but ended up giving in and thrusting to orgasm. It felt great but was immediately followed by the shame for not having pleased her, or brought her to orgasm. She was fine with it, as usual, having delt with any issues and resentments years ago, it's just me, I want to, and believe I can, learn to control my orgasm. I want to surprise her one day.
Mantra: don't focus on the failure and total lack of control, focus on developing a training regimen and following it, focus on this forum site and what it has to offer.
Hemorrhoids
Very little blood on paper only. I did not have my prunes last night, I must remember to keep the fiber up and the prunes everyday.
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PremE Progress Post 003
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