So, like my blog description says, I've known about PE for several years. I've been to this forum and read many of the articles and hoped it was true, but for some reason I never took any action. Probably because somewhere inside myself I thought that if it didn't work I'd be face to face with the idea that I just am not satisfied with my own body, and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.
Today, though, I woke up realizing that this is the body I was given, and in the same way I keep myself in good physical condition through exercise, there usually IS something you can do with what you are given. Maybe I can't transform myself into my ideal physical image, but I CAN:
1) learn more about myself - what works, what doesn't, what do I respond to?
2) strengthen myself through regular kegel excercises
3) learn whether I can improve the predictability and vigorousness of my erections
4) develop mental focus and discipline, to make the most of what I have
I'm willing to give it an honest try and apply myself to see what might be possible. I have liked this site for awhile because it isn't selling anything that you have to buy - if you want to learn and practice, you can do it for free. That makes me think that maybe, just maybe, what's being reported here isn't just another scam. I hope not. In any case, I plan to take something positive from the experience no matter what the outcome physically, and I'll commit to following a regular exercise plan and giving an honest evaluation of my experience here. I'm too busy to post every day for sure, probably too busy to post once a week, but I'll post at least once a month to report back my experiences.
Day 0 (yesterday) - I was inspired by PESG's story (It reminded me of the first Conan movie - a guy just pumping water on the 'Wheel of Pain' and getting HUGE :), so my first workout was based on that. I did a fair amount of reading - all the safety stuff, all the definitions, several of the instructional pages on warmups, stretching, jelqing, and kegels. I read the articles about people who got injured, or lost the ability to get erect at all (scared me, I'll admit, but life is full of risks). I also learned a little about PIs (need to go back to that). Even though I've read about PE before, I spent so much time on research I had to skip the actual workout and get back to my job. Weak! But still, it's a pretty damn critical part of my body, and the whole thing is so f'ing pseudo-scientific already, I have to do some extra diligence to feel like I'm not just taking ridiculous risks.
Day 1 (today) - I finally got off my ass and did my first workout. I warmed up using a moist heating pad, turning it on and off to not generate too much heat. I've read a lot of different warmup methods, and they all seem awkward except for just taking a bath or shower. The heating pad I used (with moistened wool cover) was messy and, well awkward. Where do I go while I've got my dick wrapped in an electric blanket, what do I do? Can't really get much work done that way. Hell, it's hard even to browse the internets! I need to work out a better, less messy system for that. Also, how do you avoid overheating? It's possible to cause nerve damage with too much/intense direct heat, so I'm wondering if I'm heating at the right level. None of this seems very scientific, and I find that this bothers me.
Stretching: Was fine, but there are subtleties I'm noticing just on day 1. For instance, I read about people trying to minimize stretching the skin - I read that and was like "what the hell, how do you not stretch the skin?". But then I noticed by grasping closer to the base, the feeling of the stretch changed, it WAS more like gently stretching the ligaments. Also, I noticed I was overeager; I would pull a certain amount, until I felt a decent strain on the ligaments, and then back off, thinking "listen to the advice, take it easy, work up to things, small changes." It is in fact really hard to be patient and run this thing like a marathon when all I can think about is how badly I want some kind of results. But, I know an injury will be like a speeding ticket when I'm trying to get somewhere in a hurry - it's would set me back far more than just going slow and steady. Note: later I read JP's 90 day beginner routine, and it has a better breakdown of stretching that I will follow going forward. Thanks JP!
Jelqing: Lots of questions here. I obviously need to read more, and in more detail. For one thing, it seems hard to grasp near the base of the penis - I'm obviously a pencil dick from my stats, and even partially erect it seemed like my balls get in the way, or the grip isn't quite right. Then there is the amount of pressure - some of the videos made it seem like the guy was grasping fairly firmly. For me, even at 50-70% erect, if I grasp with much firmness at all the blood all smashes into my glans like the thing wants to pop. It seemed like that couldn't possibly be right, so I immediately reduced pressure. Then the sensation was more like a circulating current - blood being pushed up into my glans, but loose enough that there was a back current of blood coming back under my grip in the other direction. I wonder how it is supposed to feel? I did read the jelq section of JP90, and it does seem to talk about trapping blood in the glans, but man, I don't know, that's seems a little intense. I'll read more in the forums, maybe post something if I get bold enough. Also, I tried some kegels, but it was to much to mentally focus on as a newbie, so I just did kegels later. Also, I used coconut oil as the lube; it seemed plenty "lubricated" enough, but I did notice cocoa butter as an option, and since I remember people using that to ease stretch marks during pregnancy, I thought that might be a good dual-benefit -> lube + moisturizing.
Edging: Still more questions! I just put on some porn and jacked off, trying to keep myself aroused, but not ejaculating, for about 15 minutes. About halfway through I wondered "How close to the edge am I supposed to be?", so I tried pushing it closer, and was less successful than I would have thought. Things either escalated too quickly, or didn't get very close at all. While this was pretty damn frustrating (I don't like being bad at things), it was also kind of exciting because I thought that it might indicate I really don't have as much control over my arousal state as I would have thought. I've been multi-orgasmic for about a year, but in sort of a passive, random way. Maybe edging will help me get even better control during sex?
Post-Workout - I had to jump right back into my job, but I did notice a somewhat "tired" feeling in not just my dick but at the base and even down towards my perineum. Interesting, but I remain skeptical.
My baseline assumption is that this is just one huge, hilarious joke being perpetrated on those who feel inadequate. But then, a small part of me thinks, "but think of how much you have to gain if you're wrong.". We'll see :)
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Day 1
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