Look folks, I'm a single guy, and occasionally a single dad. I have some advice I'd like to share, and it's not what you're expecting at all. In fact, I'm going to guess right now that the advice I am about to dispense has not even crossed your mind in the past day or two. What I am about to share with you is more than just a secret weapon that improved my life more than anything I've experienced since clamped edging. Clamped edging is always going to be my number one secret weapon. But what I am about to share is not one, but two amazing secret weapons that have literally changed my life since I discovered them!
Okay, what are these secret weapons? Well, I am going to tell you first that I can't properly explain the impact these secrets will have on your life. You need to experience them for yourself! You need to get Knee Deep In The Dead my friend! You need to throw yourself fully and wholly into the experience of these two secrets and give it your very best shot. You will not be disappointed!
Some of you have no doubt guessed what this blog post is about. But for those who are still with me and have no idea what I am talking about, here it is!
Ceramic cookware! It's the most amazing invention since the Fleshlight! Maybe it's better than the Fleshlight. But it probably doesn't beat the Fleshlight Frankenstein Edition. Regardless, ceramic non-stick cookware is fucking amazing. I started with a ceramic coated frying pan from Walmart. The Mainstays brand for those in the know. It's amazing! Nothing sticks to this pan and it's seemingly indestructible. I am embarrassed to tell you what I have put this frying pan through, but let's just say it's comparable to what I did to that lady-boy in Bangkok! And that says a whole fucking lot! My frying pan survived what that he-chick clearly could not! So number one: get yourself ceramic cookware! It's the best cookware you'll ever fall in love with!
Number two, and it's not shit! A Shark Steam-Mop. Don't think of this as a PE warm-up tool. I assure you it cannot be used this way. It may seem possible, but you'll burn your penis. It can be used to warm a Fleshlight, but so can hot water, and hot water doesn't sanitize as well. Personally, I like the risk of catching an STD from my Fleshlight, so I don't want it 100% sanitized anyway. But I am not fucking my laminate floors, even though sometimes they look like I have. It's at those times that I get a hard-on for my Shark Steam Mop! If you have any kind of hard floors, besides a hard pelvic floor, cause this won't help at all, you need a fucking steam mop! Trust me, best cleaning product you will ever purchase!
So in conclusion, I offer you two magical secrets. Both of which I purchased at Walmart for a total of $60. A 10 inch Mainstays ceramic coated frying pan, and a Shark Steam Mop! Okay, full disclosure, I also got the disposable mop pads (which I highly recommend) and a bottle of Steam Activated blah blah blah, which probably isn't worth it, but it smells good.
All I can say at this point my friend is, you're welcome!
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Attention Single Men! Great Advice Here!!!
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