Controlling the Causes of Arousal Escalation: Body Control 120

The method described here is intended to help with premature ejaculation and body control, and incidentally body awareness, during sexual activity. I believe it to be powerfully effective, easy to apply, and yield good results -- but I don't have enough feedback from others yet. Just know ~my~ results have been mind blowing to me. I'm interested in all feedback.

Premature ejaculation is one of the main reasons, and my personal one, for using this method. Premature ejaculation (PE in this article) can result from many causes and exhibit in different fashions, so this method it is not expected to address all aspects of PE, but it's currently my favorite tool in this area.

But don't just think premature ejaculation here -- better body control would help just about anyone. Any time you switch away from a spot, action, or position that is taking you towards PONR, even if your process leads to very good stamina, you are avoiding a trigger rather than overcoming it. This method attempts to allow you to engage in the same act without being made to switch it up because you have to.

Terms used here:

Involuntary Kegel (IK) (aka dick spiking): when your dick jerks on its own, resulting from a kegel that happens by your body due to your bodies perception of a stimulus and its level of arousal

Escalation: a distinct increase in the body's level of arousal, whether noticed or not, and specifically the accepted cause of an IK as for as we are concerned here

Point of No Return (PONR): the point at which ejaculation is sure to take place, and generally the perception that this point is about to be reached

Quick Description Of This Method

The basic process is simple: practice edging, notice all involuntary kegels (IKs) and identify the spot or action that is triggering them, treat those IKs as if they are PONR by backing off or stopping the stimulation at this point, and then practice working up to the exact same spot/action that was causing the IKs until you can do it for a decent length of time without triggering IKs.

The Theory

PONR is the result of your body transitioning through the spectrum of arousal from completely not aroused to climax. PONR results from the sum of numerous escalations. People who suffer from PE go through too many escalations too quickly, so the most effective method to overcoming it is to have more control over what causes escalations. For those with good stamina who want better body control, there are not too many escalations too quickly, there are simply undesirable adjustments necessary to manage the escalation path. In both cases, just holding off PONR is not enough and it is a symptom of what comes before.

To achieve the goal, we rely on our body's ability to acclimate to stimuli. If you eat half a cup of raw spinach every day for two weeks, by the end of that two weeks you will totally notice an improvement in the ease with which you can eat it. At first you may get a funny look, but later you'll be watching tv as you eat it, and with no looks, and you'll be doing something very healthy. I freakin' freakin' dare you to see that it's true so you can get to know your body's natural inclination to lose needless negative reactions. You can also google about methods to overcome the gag reflex for use in oral sex which is a wonderful path toward body control, and this too relies on your body's ability to adapt slowly to what was out of your control. At first touching your body in certain places in your mouth makes you gag, and slowly over time you can acclimate to those touches and avoid the gag reflex. That exactly similar to what we're doing here.

How This Method Differs From Edging

Often when people practice edging, their only concern is avoiding PONR. The main difference of this method is that the focus is well before PONR, and comes down to paying attention to the escalations you go through, such as signaled by involuntary kegels, which sum up to the result of PONR. When edging, signs of PONR cause you to totally pay attention and shut it down like a man on a mission, and with this method, we lend the same importance to IKs and escalations.

Overcoming An Escalation Trigger

The quick description is nearly complete but is very unspecific about just how you should go about practicing with the spots and actions that are causing IKs/escalation, which is because your options are unlimited -- whatever works! But here are some recommendations.

First, every time you experience an IK/escalation, you can just stop stimulating yourself and give your body a chance to calm a bit. It can be a good idea to be with your breath at this moment, which fosters a good breath relationship. Realize that IKs are a sign of escalation, so while people generally do not stop stimulation while edging until they feel PONR coming on, the fact is that your body has just been kicked into a higher gear if you just felt an IK. You can stop or just slow down, but ~do~ lower your body's arousal level and ~don't~ minimize the extent to which your arousal here matters. You may feel weird stopping at this point when you see a lot of room before PONR, but if you just wait until PONR you've totally skipped the things which keep leading you straight there, and no one wants to just manage PONR all the time -- ideally they want it to stop coming around so quickly or as often, or whenever not desired.

Be able to clearly identify the cause of your IKs/escalation. You may not be exactly sure at first. Maybe it's the speed of action, or perhaps it's the tightness of your grip. Maybe it's a spot on your body that is sensitive. And maybe it's just the length of time being stimulated that same one way (that's a toughy). It can get pretty complex! Sometimes it the the exact timing of how you adjust your grip where!! The better you can identify the exact escalation trigger, the more you can target it to overcome it.

Then find a way to ease into the exact same trigger, work up to the same exact thing, but without triggering more IKs/escalation. There are ~many~ things here that can help, such as:

• try it again but slower
• try it again with less force, a lighter touch, or different grip
• if it's a spot, massage the area deeply and vigorously but non-sexually
• if it's an action, do the action exaggeratedly, or oddly fast
• focus on breathing while trying again
• focus on state of mind / confidence while trying again
• try to relax all of your muscles, including noticing a non-tense anus (maybe read up on reverse kegels)
• experiment and discover other things that help you work towards the same act but reduce the IK response

Don't forget -- every time you feel your body tenses up on its own, step it down. When the body escalates, it's primed to respond the same way to the same event, so like PONR sets something in motion, an IK means that even trying more gently may lead to another IK when before it would not have. Your body jumps levels of arousal perhaps more than you realize. A slower motion and a gentler repeat will often not trigger another IK after at most a couple attempts. That's a step towards success! The goal is to be able to repeat the ~exact~ some thing that caused the original IK, which means the same spot/speed/force, etc. We are not trying just to avoid IKs, we are trying to overcome them. We are not trying to manage the triggers, we are working to make them not be triggers.

Other Recommendations

When you see the steps here making progress for you, get excited. Every time you see the IKs take longer for some trigger, that's great success, plain and simple. In fact, it's a meaningful change. Use your excitement to encourage you to keep this method in your arsenal.

When you see that you can last longer and push back or conquer your triggers, don't get so excited that you over-train. Listen to your body and watch your body for signs of over-training (referred to as PIs). Too much edging can cause issues if you are not conditioned well, and you should always watch your PIs.

Pay attention to any time you escalate your own arousal, generally by doing something you know works. People who suffer premature ejaculation get to climax too quickly, and often they intentionally escalate their own arousal quite a bit themselves! Let the acts turn you on in their own time. Also, it would be good to notice that so very often, when attempting to escalate your own arousal, you know what you'll use? A kegel. Chicken or egg, kegels are related to arousal. People often escalate their own arousal semi-consciously a hundred times, automatically, like brushing away an itch on your face. They know from history that such and such a change will make it feel better, and they aim for that. When it works, and so it did feel better, that is a form of escalation. If you did it on purpose 'cause you knew it would, that's intentional escalation. PE sufferers can benefit from noticing their choices to escalate, and getting familiar with their inclinations and habits towards escalation.

In my experience with this method, some triggers improve almost immediately or without much practice/experimentation and others can take more work. But nearly every single trigger is likely to improve due to your efforts enough to notice and show potential. If not, there may be other biological factors that are pertinent for you. Just be aware not all triggers yield as easily. If some trigger is particularly hard, don't worry about fully conquering that one trigger right now, and if worst comes to worst, some triggers can just be avoided if absolutely necessary.

It can pay to practice semen retention. You may get benefits from a schedule of two days in a row without ejaculation, followed by a day where you are free to do whatever. Repeat as desired. When you know that your edging session ~will not~ end in ejaculation, it can help you not rush, it shows a sense of acceptance about the feelings as they present themselves, and it takes away the focus that ejaculation so often demands. If your goal is to be in control, it should be a big red flag that a part of the process won't seem to let you leave it alone. You say, I could not eat that cookie if I really wanted to -- show me the control then. The final release isn't going anyway and there are many benefits to leaving it sometimes.

Something else that can be helpful is, when edging, just to avoid the PONR feeling altogether. Edging is almost always mentioned in terms of PONR, and there is certainly benefit to staying on the edge to master the edge, but there is benefit to staying the hell away from the edge and working the rest too. It's one of the core forces behind this method where you work on the things that take you to PONR, but as it's own idea, you can also practice an intention to stay away from PONR, even away from IKs and escalations, and just spend time in sexual activity. If you suffer PE, you get enough PONR anyway, but even if you don't suffer PE so it would be great to master the edge and PONR, even then, full body control means choosing when, where, and how, and giving yourself time spent in sexual activity without an PONR aspect at all can offer its own lessons and benefits.

My Personal Story: An Example

I discovered this method during edging. I was triggering IKs on the down-stroke when hitting the base. At first I didn't even really notice. I would have just kept going because that's what I always do in that context. I knew I wasn't at PONR yet, it's not a big deal to have IKs, IKs are a normal part of the process, and as a person who's always had PE, IKs are like breathing I guess. But I put 2 and 2 together and recognized that the IK was escalation, that the IK had a cause, and that this was all leading to PONR. So I stopped. By the time I stopped I knew what the trigger was, having already had four or five IKs on each downstroke. I stopped and let my body's arousal subside. I looked for the IK again and there it was. How funny I thought, they always talk about the glans being so sensitive and here I can see I'm getting escalated at the base. I took my fingers and started exploring the base, pushing into my body to explore where my dick and body join, grabbing it, tugging at it, pushing into it, massaging it. I could sense it loosening up due to each of these. I tried some slower gentler strokes and maybe I got a slight IK, but I breathed and tried again and hey, no IK! It was still sensitive enough I could sense the IKs near by, but with a little experimentation, pretty soon I was doin' like a minute of hitting the base and getting no IKs! I'm a PE sufferer, so of course anything long enough (or short enough, whatever :-p) is going to set off PONR without some switch-ups for me. I found that the base might because sensitive again, but exaggerated pounding, even though it has more forced, actually caused less issues. Weird, but more stimuli (impact-wise), less response. Either which way I saw the potential for working on triggers. Over the rest of my session, I encountered several IK triggers and worked on each one. Some yielded easily and some took more work, but every single one showed improvement. The end result was a lot more non-stop action that usual. But not just that, the type, quality, and firmness of the strokes was generally more robust, less tentative, more natural. I spent most of my edging session with a hard-on, whereas normally I take many rests and often to the point of getting noticeably softer. So many huge advances all in one evening when I started thinking in terms of this method.

Towards the end of what was a long session (I tend to edge for long times), I had a general feeling of what was a kind of obvious numbness in my dick generally, but not in the way that sounds bad. It was a very very good thing. It was letting me stroke for lengths of time that was making me say wow out loud. I verbally said oh my god so many times out of dumb-foundedness that things were going so well. This numbness I mentioned didn't stop the stroking from being pleasurable at all. Sure, in certain ways it made specific things not respond as nicely in and of themselves, things that during jacking I might intentionally invoke just to escalate / bring on the good feelings -- but they were things I intentionally wrapped up and put away in a box so I could spend more time, and that left other good doors open. It wouldn't even by fair to me to call any of this a tradeoff -- it was all intentional choice for just exactly how I wanted it. It's interesting how psychology works: I've wanted PE gone for so long, but even at the moment when I was having ~such~ ~amazing~ ~success~, when I saw what a great and empowering type of numbness I had going for me that wasn't reducing my overall pleasure, the PE'er in me that monkey bars from one "that brings on the good feelings" act to another got this kind of like, what? expression, because numbness can't be good some tiny part of me squeaks -- but it was wonderful. Again, it pays to notice your relationship with escalators. If I insist on taking every opportunity to escalate, I'll keep living in PONR-ville. It's bad enough my body reacts so much on it's own without my trying to prod it on, but you know, when you lay down to jack for awhile the whole point is to bring on the good feelings -- you cannot help but do things to escalate unless you just pick a different activity. But when I pay attention to each escalation choice, how I feel when I try to not choose the next escalation on my own, almost like I'm bored, wasting my time, or waiting for the traffic light to change -- I can see how it all plays a part.

Good luck, and I'm interested in all feedback and/or results.