Its February!!!!
Holy shit.
First thing I wanna say is, quitting porn has been an amazing decision!
It's hard to find motivation to do something when you don't know the outcome. If I had known it was going to be this great, I probably would have quit a lot sooner. Porn affects different people different ways. I'm not anti-porn. I'm totally comfortable with anyone watching it. Guys, girls, anyone and everyone. For some people, it could even be beneficial.
For me it was bad. My sexuality was based on it, I was addicted and it really hurt my quality of life. I didn't realize how much it hurt until I quit. Its now been 3 1/2 months and I can't begin to explain the benefits. My erections are at their best! My sex drive is even better. Masturbation is really fun and feels good. I get erections much more easily. I have them throughout the day when I get aroused (which is something that I have wanted but not had for years). I'm so fucking happy/proud.
At the same time I found my sexuality, I found porn. They are intertwined. The real recovery isn't overcoming addiction. It's removing porn from who I am. I'm not sure how long this will take... but on the bright side, I'm really excited to (hopefully) continue seeing more improvements.
I bought some PE supplies!!!
I bought a hanger, clamp, and a "stealth thing" (keeps flaccid extended). I still have no idea what to call it. Cool stuff, I'm excited about all of it but hesitant to try any of it because of my injury.
Which brings me to the next subject. I'm still injured. I'm still slightly swollen and slightly painful when its messed with. It's not as bad as October 16th when I quit PE, but it's not much better than last month either.
I'm really tired of being injured. I don't like the pain. I don't like the swelling. I don't like not being able to masturbate without pain. I don't like not being able to PE. It totally sucks fucking shit.
I really hope it heals soon, but at this rate, it doesn't feel like it ever will.
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February 2014
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