That's how far I traveled for the holidays this year from the moment I left home on December 23rd until I arrived back at home today (1/5) - 2,358.4 miles and 7 states. Those states were: Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, and Indiana. Many people think I get a raw deal because my wife and kid fly while I drive our car but I disagree, I like it.
First, it's practical. I save money by doing this by not having to buy that extra plane ticket and not having to rent a car when I'm there for at least part of the time. It helps that my mom gets my hotel room both directions as a Christmas gift. I also need the car to transport stuff back home. Let's be honest, my kid is 2 years old and is the only grandchild on both sides of the family...he gets a lot of gifts and gifts for toddlers tend to be big, bulky, and plastic. I don't have to ship that stuff back, I just throw it in the car and away I go.
Second, and this is important to me, I want to do this. You single guys...you have freedom that I don't. Driving gives me a taste of the single life again for a couple days. The freedom of the road, to stop when I want without regard to others or necessary "potty" stops. Eating what I want, when I want, where I want. It's great! Couple nights with no bath time battles or little golden books. Don't get me wrong, I love my family more than I can put into words (and I'm verbose) but it's nice to be alone for a time.
So what did I do? We spend most of the time at my in-laws place. The first year this was hard for me as a shy person. BUT, it's turned into a really nice thing for me - as I've said before my mother in law is a restaurant quality cook (she doesn't know it) and my youngest sister in law is pretty damn good too. They have also really, genuinely accepted me into the family and they would not do this if they didn't feel it. Just ask my other sister in law's husband who is explicitly not welcome. These people are all about family and my son loves his aunties...free childcare! It's one of the only times during the year that my wife and I get to go anywhere child free.
We also visited my mom in Indiana. She is not from Indiana but ever since she married the guy (6 years ago now...he's a good guy too) she has turned into a complete Domer. EVERY SINGLE THING she wears is Notre Dame. Ulgh! As a Purdue alum, this is offensive to me...but I tolerate it. It's interesting to visit there...her husband's kids don't come around anymore. The middle child, his son, tried to commit suicide a couple years ago. Now, he's basically turned into a deadbeat with no job and since my mom and her husband co-signed his student loans...they are paying them back. He's angry...at something. Nobody can really tell me what. He lives with his older sister and because she allows him to mooch, it's created tension. His youngest is too absorbed in being an attractive 20 year old female college student to spend any time with her dad.
So we go there and we are the only "kids" there. I feel bad for him, like I said he's a good guy and I see his situation differently than most. I see it from the angle of a father. What if my son tried to kill himself and then refused to talk to me because he was angry about something (and I didn't know what)? It would devastate me. I can tell it devastates him but he holds it in. All in all I guess we had a decent visit except both he and my mom got sick. We dodged it thankfully.
After Indiana we went back to my in-laws place. I had been speaking to my wife about a somewhat elaborate overnight "date" for some time but it didn't happen. Money... It's okay, we still had some alone time and it was nice. Even though we are having some sexual difficulties....namely that she doesn't seem to want sex....I love her. The alone time reinforced that. She does care about me, I know she does. I need to remember that as I try to move forward to fix our marriage...that is, it is worth fixing and she is worth the effort. Funny thing, writing it down here has helped me reflect on it and it's true, all of it.
Still didn't get laid though.
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2,358.4 miles
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